Hello, my name is M, and I am a hoarder. Or at least, I have major hoarding tendencies. I think that years ago I was an ACTUAL active hoarder, but I did not even realize at the time. I'm not talking newspapers up to the ceiling or anything like you may see on a reality show, but enough stuff to be a serious problem for me.
I want so desperately to explain this part of my life, this part of me, but I'm having a hard time even knowing where to begin, so unravelling this may take several posts. Hence the reason for this blog. After all, there's no better place to deal with your deep personal shit than publicly on the Internet ;)
My whole life I have had a major tendency toward hoarding. I didn't know it was called hoarding until a few years ago, or even that it was a "thing" (thank you, TLC, heh). I think I just thought I was a pack rat. I loved getting things, and when I got them, I kept them... forever! Things came in but they did not go out.
While I have no clue what made me this way in the first place, I do suspect it is hardwired into me for some reason. I literally remember being this way from the time I was a very young child. My earliest hoarding memory was when I was under 8 years old and got a triceratops puzzle from a 25 cent machine, put it somewhere in my room, and later found my mom had thrown it out. She wasn't trying to be mean, she was just de-cluttering like moms do. Getting rid of the old stuff, to make room for the new. Perfectly reasonable. I remember seeing it sitting on the top of the trash outside and absolutely losing my mind about it. I plucked it out of the trash, screamed at my mother, and squirrelled it away somewhere "safe."
I'll write more about these things as time goes on, as it comes to me. This will have to do for now.
